Dating Someone With BPD: How To Make It Work

You probably are familiar with the sensation of feeling “zoned out”—the world around you momentarily seems unreal or looks strange or unfamiliar. In these moments, you could be experiencing dissociation. Being very pure-hearted, i.e., very understanding towards their partner. Being able to bluntly verbalise what is on their mind, such as how they find the dating experience. If the person with autism finds maintaining eye contact difficult, encourage them to focus on your nose or forehead instead for example.

How to get help if your partner/spouse is struggling with BPD?

A therapist will help you understand and assess the decisions made concerning emotional situations. They will help you understand that all events are not inherently bad or good, stabilizing your emotional responses. A person with BPD may experience happy periods and events for much longer and more intensely than others. However, the opposite is also true, and in low periods they may feel depressed for longer and more intensely. Another trigger for BPD rage is perceived criticism or judgment. People with BPD have a distorted self-image and are exceedingly sensitive to criticism or perceived negative evaluation.

Identity Confusion

Beyond that, I researched and tried a few other treatment options as well. With therapy, however, BPD can be managed and they can be successful partners. On the other hand, they are prone to dramatic mood swings, where you might be their favourite person at one point, to be pushed away due to their emotional instability or avoidance of rejection. If you are dating someone with BPD, then it is important to realize that these emotions are not due to your shortcomings.

Both people who are dating must ensure they are both always on the same page. They should also discuss how slow or fast they want their relationship to go. While it is possible for people with HFA to have romantic relationships, they can be interpreted as introverts.

What it’s like dating with borderline personality disorder

Can’t trust her steals my debit and credit cards cheats lies etc etc. Not a chance of any success cause she sabotages, manipulates etc. She doesn’t 100% mean it and I feel for her she sabotages herself too and self harms.

Rumination mediates the relationship between personality organization and symptoms of borderline personality disorder and depression. You may also face some misunderstandings, so it’s a good idea to avoid getting defensive when your partner misreads you. Clarification and reassurance will go a long way when dating someone with borderline personality. It’s highly advisable that you also focus on your emotional needs, mental health, and personal safety. Their willingness to work on managing their symptoms isn’t up to you.

Therapy, communication skills, setting boundaries, and self-care practices can all help individuals break the cycle and build healthy, fulfilling relationships. Additionally, people with BPD often have a strong fear of abandonment, which may stem from past trauma or attachment issues. They may become clingy or dependent on their loved ones, leading to exhaustion and frustration in those relationships. Alternatively, they may push away their loved ones, fearing that they will leave them, causing them to feel hurt and rejected.

People with BPD tend to have intense and stormy relationships, with chaotic ups and downs and conflict-laden episodes, turmoil and relationship dysfunction. A person with BPD will not enjoy being alone and need to be with others. They may also get frustrated when they seek something from someone and do not get, either emotionally or physically.

You must simply recognize the signs, and be willing to support your partner. Understand that a BPD partner will be sensitive to signals that they may interpret as you wanting to leave them or give up on the relationship. This can lead to a withdrawal or anger and is a time that you must really support them and reassure them. Stressful situations such as major life changes, financial problems, overwhelming responsibilities, and traumatic events can also trigger BPD rage. The emotional instability of individuals with BPD means that they are more likely to react negatively to stressful situations that may not bother others.

Dating Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder: A Detailed Guide

One day read the symptoms list and was like damnnn it’s not me. Divorced now and hey it turns out other women actually care about me instead of manipulate and get angry. My biggest concern would be if someone has BPD in conjunction with other disorders or other cluster-B personality disorders like Narcissistic or Anti-Social Personality disorder. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. This could be because you purposefully broke off the relationship for fear your partner might do it first.

From working with BPD patients I know that if you establish firm and unyielding boundaries and are transparent with them that they can be less defensive and untrusting. There are those who are swamped by the condition, unsupported medically or just refuse to check their behaviour, which creates a definite stigma. I do not blame anyone for being cautious because I have seen the best and the worst sides of it, firsthand and through group experiences. Therapists and doctors can work with you or your partner to develop a treatment plan. These healthcare providers can help you address the BPD symptoms that are most damaging to you and to your relationship. When a person with BPD senses a shift in their partner’s feelings, whether real or imagined, they may immediately withdraw.

If you begin showing signs of self-harm or suicidal ideation, a doctor may hospitalize you for observation and intensive therapy. Our experts continually monitor the health and wellness space, and we update our articles when new information becomes available. You may be wondering how to help a loved one cope with BPD. However, you shouldn’t rely on medications alone, as they don’t necessarily address the underlying causes of your BPD. Such medications often work best in conjunction with psychotherapy.